nekinternet,
This forum is setup to help users with their problems. The correct way to ask question is not: "Ok I am really getting tired of this..." - especially that this is your first post, but: "please help me because I have no idea what I am doing wrong." - as apparently is your case. If you can not conform to certain standards you will be banned from this forum.
First of all EPESI uses Roundcube e-mail client which is web based IMAP client - it was not created by us but simply adopted and integrated with our application. Probably you should take your anger at the forum at Roundcube: http://www.roundcubeforum.net
Secondly - you say that you have no problem with incoming e-mails therefore the part of IMAP web client works fine and you have a problem with your server configuration sending SMTP traffic. So please focus on that.
I can assure you, that we have many servers configured receiving and sending e-mail fine and even with AOL.
The settings for AOL that work for us are like this:
SMTP Server: smtp.aol.com
SMTP Authentication: YES
SMTP Security: YES
and of course username and password.
If this does not work for you it means that your provider blocks SMTP communication. You can test it using telnet. Here is a brief explanation on how to do it:
http://www.port25.com/how-to-check-an-s ... session-2/
You should also check your logs for errors. Many providers block SMTP communication (Comcast, Verizon and other big guys) in hopes to combat SPAM. The best way to see if your provider is blocking SMTP traffic is to test it with telnet. The response should be something like this:
250-mail.port25.com says hello
You say that you tried 3 different ISP, but do not provide their hostnames or IP addresses. You do not provide info about the operating system, server configuration, who your provider is and many other important info that will be helpful in troubleshooting this problem for you.
Read this post: viewtopic.php?f=6&t=496
RTFM and get some anger management books - shouting "damn" and that "you are tired of this" is no substitute for knowledge, skills and experience. For now I will let you use the forum, but the next time I see a post like this from you - you will be banned and all your posts will be removed.